Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Sex and the Six Year Old
"So today's the last day you'll ever be five. Isn't that wild? You'll be six tomorrow."
"Lucy told me she is sex today. I told her the word was sexy, not sex."
At this point I'm trying to figure out what in the world prompted him to tell me this. I guess "six" is close enough for any male?
It's just their DNA.
"I think Lucy just wants to know she's beautiful. Maybe next time she says it you can tell her sexy is an adult word and she's more than that- tell her she's beautiful to you."
"I will Mamma because she is."
Parenting is on the fly. Kids are always listening and learning from you and how you react to the world. Maybe this conversation is one brick of a thousand to build a wonderful young man.
(Note: I did change the little girl's name. And he truly does adore her.)
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Respect
It was a hard decision to make- football or martial arts this fall. I didn't leave the decision totally up to Luke, our soon to be 6 year old. He changed his mind every time I asked which he preferred. I realized he was conflicted between what he wanted to do and what he thought we wanted him to do. He knows his daddy played football and watches every UGA game filled with passion. Luke barely glances at the T.V. preferring to draw, jump off the couch, and play super hero as we cheer for every great play.
I stepped in and decided I would take the pressure off and push for the activity best suited to him- jiu jitsu, a Thai martial art. Would we love going to Saturday morning flag football games and cheering for our little tribe of 5 & 6 year olds? You bet! But would he love it? Probably not. He would enjoy the environment at times, but it wouldn't build his confidence or strengthen his weaknesses. In fact, I think it would have been a step backwards for him.
He's played three years of organized baseball. The first two were laid back leagues where it was just cute seeing the little ones running around. This season was different- some kids began showing real interest and talent. Coaches began worrying about winning. Parents started pushing for their children to perform. I get all of the above as I was a pretty good player who loved everything about softball. I have a drive to compete against myself and others. Throwing for thirty minutes was fun to me as I pushed myself for improvement...
Luke doesn't give a damn. I never yelled at him for not doing one thing or another on the field, but would praise him when he did something with effort correctly. I'd remind him to continue with the same effort as his "give a damn" faded quickly. It was so frustrating because he could throw, catch, and hit just as well as anyone else on the team. But he'd do it a couple times to pacify me and get back to to goofing.
He doesn't have that traditional sport personality. I had to come to terms with it and it wasn't bad. I just had to swallow it as an athlete myself. For the sake of allowing my son to be himself, I have to acknowledge and respect his unique qualities.
We are three weeks into jiu jitsu and he is loving it. He gets to be around kids as he learns discipline. Instead of walking away deflated from practices, he's got a little strut to his step. I learn something from him every single day and I respect my 6 year old little man.
I stepped in and decided I would take the pressure off and push for the activity best suited to him- jiu jitsu, a Thai martial art. Would we love going to Saturday morning flag football games and cheering for our little tribe of 5 & 6 year olds? You bet! But would he love it? Probably not. He would enjoy the environment at times, but it wouldn't build his confidence or strengthen his weaknesses. In fact, I think it would have been a step backwards for him.
He's played three years of organized baseball. The first two were laid back leagues where it was just cute seeing the little ones running around. This season was different- some kids began showing real interest and talent. Coaches began worrying about winning. Parents started pushing for their children to perform. I get all of the above as I was a pretty good player who loved everything about softball. I have a drive to compete against myself and others. Throwing for thirty minutes was fun to me as I pushed myself for improvement...
Luke doesn't give a damn. I never yelled at him for not doing one thing or another on the field, but would praise him when he did something with effort correctly. I'd remind him to continue with the same effort as his "give a damn" faded quickly. It was so frustrating because he could throw, catch, and hit just as well as anyone else on the team. But he'd do it a couple times to pacify me and get back to to goofing.
He doesn't have that traditional sport personality. I had to come to terms with it and it wasn't bad. I just had to swallow it as an athlete myself. For the sake of allowing my son to be himself, I have to acknowledge and respect his unique qualities.
We are three weeks into jiu jitsu and he is loving it. He gets to be around kids as he learns discipline. Instead of walking away deflated from practices, he's got a little strut to his step. I learn something from him every single day and I respect my 6 year old little man.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)